Happy Monday (again)! I think this may be the very first time I’ve ever posted twice in one day – but don’t worry, I don’t think it’ll become a habit. :o)  This little Fijian boy captured my full attention when this boat sailed by at the Polynesian Cultural Center.  I had to snap as many pics as I could of him. SO cute! Right?  I read up on Fijian families and traditions {here}.  The wiki article explained the Fijian kinship system and the respect they have for different relationships. I thought of how mutual respect in all relationships is essential…especially in marriage relationships. I thought of my own marriage as well as marriages of people around me, that I love.  Sometimes it can be so hard!

Although I’ve posted about my terrific hubby {here, here and here…to link just a few}, it doesn’t mean we haven’t had our ups and downs. But I’m so grateful we stuck it through the bad times and worked hard to strengthen our marriage, because I have friends and family members who didn’t do the hard work and now I can tell (I know!) they wished they would have!  So – I thought I’d document a few of the lessons I’ve learned through the years:

I heard once the formula for a happy marriage is…

Choose your spouse wisely…then treat kindly.

Overly simplistic?  Maybe, but kindness is HUGE! I’ve learned that I can’t change my spouse….all I can do is change myself.  But I’ve learned that when I am kind, I get kindness in return.  When I am loving, I get love in return.  Now, that IS pretty simplistic, right?  But it works.

I’ve learned that my spouse is not a mind-reader. (dang it!)  If I have needs, I’ve got to communicate those needs (in a loving manner).

I’ve learned that professional counselors can do a lot of good. BUT…not all counselors are created equal!  I know some that are worthless…I mean, very ineffective.  Get recommendations and get appointments with the best…then be humble and teachable…learn some new skills and implement them in your relationships.

I’ve learned that sometimes I’ve just gotta bite my tongue.  Not everything I think has to come out of my mouth.

I’ve learned that I’m usually right (my opinions are typically spot on!!! :o)…but I don’t have to tell the world that I know I’m right. Sometimes, others can think their opinions matter. And that’s OK, most of the time!

I’ve learned to make my marriage relationship a priority.  No other relationship matters more to me…and who I choose to spend my time with reflects this priority.  Seldom does anything trump our date night.  Although, we didn’t always have a specific date night, when I explained to my dear hubby that it was important to me, he made it happen.  We implemented it and it has been a reminder to both of us that our marriage is important.  Plus we get to play together.  Most of our dates are fun and studies have shown that having fun together increases your love quotient.  Just remember the fun dates you had when you started “courting”!  What happened? You fell in love!

I’ve learned many, many more things, but those might have to wait for another blog post, another day. So…go and do or learn something NEW….and if you’re married – you have my sincere hope that it is a very happy relationship.  If not…WORK HARD…and make it so that it is.  It can be done!